Home
 
Previous | Memories | Tell a Friend | Next
 
nobarking
nobarking
13 August 2009 @ 12:24 pm
 
I honestly can't believe that I am in serious arguments with friends over whether or not Pick-up Artist sites (or "Love Systems") are scams or are just "guys are scared of girls so they find ways to try and talk to them". Other people have talked about this far better than I have but I honestly feel sick to my stomach that people I know and am friends with would actually take this seriously.

It spawned off a Penny Arcade article that quickly got out of control, but just, holy shit, seriously. Have people never even LOOKED AT THESE?

Choice examples include tips such as: "Negging is designed to penetrate a bitch shield" "Negging will take them down off their self-imposed pedestal" "Once she realizes what a bitch she is, she'll apologize to you and you've won".

How, how, how HOW can people actually read this shit and believe that it's anything less than disgusting, but that it is not just okay but a GOOD IDEA?

Jon's labouring under the impression that because he teases everyone, negging is okay because that's how some guys are, they tease people, so it's just them being themselves, right? I've shown him these "examples" -- they're not teasing, they're walking up to someone and calling them a bitch or ugly. Teasing is something you do amongst friends and people you know. He also is talking about how he knows folks who got married off dating sites, how are these different? ARGH.

This isn't teasing, this is insulting women on so many damned levels, most of all by assuming that every woman hates you and only exists to block you access to her sex and would never in a million years want to actually talk to you or know you as a human being, so you'd better show her who's fucking boss -- and when she rejects you (because she will) well you had the satisfaction of calling her a stuck-up bitch.

Fortunately I know Jon will actually READ these articles I'm throwing at him, but for fuck's sake -- if someone whom I have known and admired and been good friends with for years can take this shit seriously at first blush, what does that say about other people?
 
24 comments | Leave a comment
 
( 24 comments — Post a new comment )
Just a tattoo of her name across my soul[info]tattooofhername on August 13th, 2009 05:13 pm (UTC)
You are a far better person than I. I'd have hit him by now. *hugs* Hopefully, he'll get the point, and even if he doesn't, remember that 'man' culture is so ingrained in most guys from birth that it's very hard to see around. It'll take time.
Dani[info]castlemew on August 13th, 2009 06:00 pm (UTC)
I am just ellipsing.
Jenn[info]kickthehobbit on August 13th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
. . . huh.

I've had guys try that on me before.

I think I made the last one cry. ^____^
Erika <3[info]apis_cerana on August 13th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
<3
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
Man, I hope lots of people do. A friend told me that this sort of thing would absolutely blow her self-esteem to pieces -- she wouldn't be all over the guy but she'd definitely take it harsh. What the hell, seriously.
The Sacred Chao: Boobies![info]jokergirl on August 13th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC)
Oooh, give us all the gory details.
Did you carve his 'nads out with a rusty spoon?

;)
Jenn[info]kickthehobbit on August 13th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC)
Nah. We were in public. He started yelling that I was fat and ugly and he wouldn't want to fuck me anyway when I told him I wasn't interested.

I responded, quite calmly, that I doubted anyone was fucking him. He shouted back that he was "banging supermodels", and I said with hair like that, no supermodel would come near him—and while he might find his right hand attractive, no one else did.

Was while I was downtown; there were about twenty people watching. My friend was with me; she was mortified and pulled me away. I felt GOOD. :3
lerouxpapillion[info]lerouxpapillion on August 13th, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
I think I love you for this.

Edited at 2009-08-13 08:42 pm (UTC)
Jenn[info]kickthehobbit on August 13th, 2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
I am perfectly calm and reasonable, till you start insulting me.
Foxish[info]dragonsong on August 13th, 2009 06:24 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, but that bullshit would get a withering glare, and possibly a drink thrown in somebody's face.

And people wonder why women don't feel comfortable around a lot of men.
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
No kidding. Not to mention the whole "Don't take no for an answer" goes rather directly against the whole "NO MEANS NO" ideal. It's rape culture mentality.
The Sacred Chao: Dr. Who[info]jokergirl on August 13th, 2009 07:53 pm (UTC)
Urgh, every new thing that I learn about that thing is another typical red flag in my book.
As if there weren't already enough creeps around without new people taking extra levels in creepy.

;P
B-Money: :O![info]evilgmbethy on August 13th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
............

I had never really even, well, considered this shit before. I mean I've seen glimpses of that hilariously douchey pick-up artist guy on VH-1 (LOL, I think his name is Mystery?) but... holy shit. Just... I have no words for this bullshit, oh my god.
Erika <3[info]apis_cerana on August 13th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
What the FUCK. o__o I'm glad I'm not in the dating scene anymore, because if some douche tried that on me I would most definitely not find it "cute". Isn't it just plain rude to talk to someone who you JUST MET like that?
I also hate that they use a "scale" to measure girls with, like the idea of beauty is somehow not subjective :P

I think it's sad that men are so lacking in self-esteem to actively decide to try something as shitty as this too -_-
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
This is where Jon was coming from, he was saying that isn't it great that there are websites out there to help men with low self-esteem... he never bothered to look into what it is they actually teach, you know? He said that a lot of it really rang true for him, and it took a while (he's finally read everything and gone D:) for him to understand what the hell I was mad about in the first place.

It capitalizes on low self-esteem and on any feelings of anger, frustration or hurt (real or imagined!) from guys, then turns it around and says "Hey look it's totally okay to act like an asshole to women to pick them up, they secretly want it and it'll get you laid!". It's self-rewarding, too -- if they reject you, well they were just a stuck-up bitch and boy you showed her a thing or two.

It's beyond disgusting, and in the gamer community especially you have this huge percentage of guys who are insecure, shy, and misogynistic as all hell. The perfect mix for these scams. :/

I don't understand who the hell thinks walking up to a woman and saying "Boy you'd be pretty if you didn't wear so much makeup" as making her do anything but give you a withering stare.

The rating system is awful, seriously. Because the only women worth approaching, according to these sites, are "9s or 10s and the rest of you losers can stick with the 5s and 6s". Wtf.
Erika <3[info]apis_cerana on August 13th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah -- it's pretty awful -_- I have a feeling gamers have unrealistic expectations of what types of girls they could "score" and go for some ladies who are truly out of their league, whether it's physically or mentally, or both.
I'm glad my bf thinks shit like this is ridiculous, and pretty much every guy I know would be like "lol wut".
The Sacred Chao: Jiji shudder[info]jokergirl on August 13th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
God, people who seriously believe that there's some kind of catch-all formula that unlocks a woman's get-into-bed mode are just so CREEPY.
(and need to be smacked above the head)

:P
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
Gamers worst of all! Just press up, up, down, down, left, right, B, A, she'll open her legs! That works for everything else!

The Sacred Chao: allyourbase latin[info]jokergirl on August 13th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
Exactly! :D

;)
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh your icon :D :D :D :D :D

Augh I'm so full of rage today, I'm all worn out from arguing all day and just raaaaaagh.
The Sacred Chao: wow milkshake[info]jokergirl on August 13th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
Hee hee. I stole the AYB icon from... someone. Who stole it from someone. So feel free to steal on :D

;)
polarbee[info]polarbee on August 13th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
Heehee. I can look at all your links except the ones to the actual sites. Blocked by firewall. I...have never heard of this...movement? I don't think I can process that much stupidity right now. (Up late watching Waltz with Bashir and then up the rest of the night thinking about it.)

Edited at 2009-08-13 07:19 pm (UTC)
nobarking[info]nobarking on August 13th, 2009 07:21 pm (UTC)
It's a lot of rage and stupidity to wade through. :/

I'd never heard of it either, and I could have gone the rest of my life happily knowing that this sort of garbage was not going on.
melchar[info]melchar on August 14th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC)
Never heard of it either, but it sure justifies my long-ago vow to only date gamers. [not that I date now - 23 years of marriage means only needing to date 1 person.]

My gamers are pretty darned good people tho.